To me you are lovely, in every single way. It hurts to see you down, or to see you led astray. Your smile could move mountains, or stop all hate. I'd give it all up, for one single date. It may go well, it may be normal, however, I know we'd keep it informal. It's because we click, and fit just right, every opening is sealed and closed air tight. Why or how, you ask? I don't know. I cannot explain, where we were meant to go. For now though, I leave you with this, as I lean in and take your kiss.

A way with words is one way to my heart.

There comes a point in a persons life where they stop getting pleasure out of meaningless fucks and just want to be tied up by someone they love.

Can I get an amen?

cry to me, sing me your sorrows.
eyes so beautiful shouldn’t speak such pain.
tremble not young soul you are free,
let the wings of your dreams lead you to great heights.

dry your tears, listen now.
your strength is resilient and you are brave.
never doubt what you know.

now stand on your feet and start running.
run fast, run quick.
don’t stop. 

you’re needed at the top.

I want nothing to do with anyone right now. The thought of another talking to me sounds terrible and daunting. Words are meaningless, feelings have taken over my life. 

Let me lay here in my ditch of depression, cry to the abyss of my misfortunes. Why me? Why you? Why anything?

Time passes, not a move made but countless thoughts had. 
Am I unlovable?
Can I even grasp the meaning of love?

More questions than I have answers.
Less care than before.
I am numb, weightless, non-existent to the world.

Leave me here,
until I get the courage to face another day.

Another heartbreak. 

What’s wrong with me?

Why am I so incapable of finding love?

"Women have always been healers. They were the unlicensed doctors and anatomists. They were abortionists, nurses and counselors. They were the pharmacists, cultivating healing herbs, and exchanging the secrets of their uses. They were midwives, traveling from home to home and village to village. For centuries women were doctors without degrees, barred from books and lectures, learning from each other, and passing on experience from neighbor to neighbor and mother to daughter. They were called “wise women” by the people, witches or charlatans by the authorities. Medicine is part of our heritage as women, our history, our birthright."
Barbara Ehrenreich & Deirdre English, “Witches, Midwives and Nurses: A History of Women” (via cyclicaltangents)

(via women-in-science)

My mind
Only wants to create,
My body
Only wants to sleep.

Quite the predicament I have here.

Time to play some mind games; where I trick my body into falling asleep, works every time! Pleasant dreams to all.

How many?

How many days has it been since you felt more feelings for someone more than only friends?
How many weeks has it been since a single person has made you feel the giddy anxiousness that feels like butterflies fluttering in your stomach?
How many months has it been since you let yourself trust another so strongly that you give them your all?

How many years has it been since you’ve been in love?

The answers will all be different, for some of you the answer for all of those will be ‘never’ because those are an every day occurrence for you. And for all of you I am, from the bottom of my heart happy for you, you have attained something that I someday hope to achieve. For the rest of you, we are in the same boat. You are not alone. Well, you actually are, BUT I’m using it in a more figurative sense. Sorry.

More so lately than ever before am I longing for the love of another that is so deep that I want to be able to answer ‘never’ to my previous questions. My problem for a while was that I was always searching for the wrong guy. I had standards but I didn’t exactly follow those standards and when I did I always gave up because I never thought I was good enough. I know many of you can relate to that and it took me a while to realize that I had even been giving up for that reason. I always just blamed it on this and that but when I sat down and thought about how it was always just me in the end and no one else it really made me second guess a lot of things.

I always thought I loved myself more than anyone else could, but actually there were so many things that I disliked. If I disliked those things so much how could I expect someone else to like them? Let alone love them. Coming to that realization is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. It was so difficult at first but after time you start to love those imperfections and you work on them. Make a list,(if you’re really critical start with a small list) write down your fears, what you think is holding you back in order to love again.

Now I need to clarify this as well, but when I say make a list of things that you don’t really like about yourself I do not mean physically. For some of you that is a big part of why you don’t love yourself but for the most part that is nothing we are able to change. I suggest finding your true self internally before you try externally. There will always be a constant battle between love and hate with yourself physically, and I mean ALWAYS. Don’t waste time on doubt when you should be spending it on growth. 

Writing this has been a long time coming and I feel like now is the perfect time for me because I am now much more content and accepting of myself that I am hopefully able to let someone else love me in return. 

The best of luck to all of you and your love lives.
If you have any questions or concerns feel free to share!